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Break Time From Hubby

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I'll be the first to admit I love my husband.  I love still dating him.  I am still engaged in our conversations.  I fall in love all over again by simply looking into his eyes, but sometimes I need a  time-out...In other words I need a break.

I'm not saying I want to split-up, break-up, divorce him, or leave him.  No, none of that, but I need a break from him from time to time.

Here's Why
If you are like me then you are the multi-tasker in your household.  Meaning you're the primary cook, the person who cleans up after everyone, a psychiatrist that listens to everyone problems, a mother who is nurturing, a doctor who makes it feel better, and so many other titles.  I could literally go on and on.

Questions For You
I'm sure you absolutely love wearing all these different hats like mama and wife, but do you ever feel or get wore down?  Once, you get wore down do you feel guilty, because now you are lacking on the job as a wife and a mom?  Or maybe you feel you do too much and very rarely do you get the same treatment. Either way I'm here to tell you that you not only need a Break Time from hubby, but that you deserve one.

If you don't get some much needed time to yourself, then prepare to lose your mind, prepare to feel overwhelm all of the time, which leads to periods of being overly emotional.  And when you start to feel this way, this brings issues into your marriage and your home.

Now, most women deal with Break Time from Hubby differently than the next.  Some go to a 9-5 job to get out of the house, they work out, have cocktails with friends, go buy something, they may feel like getting rest will help ease the tension they are feeling, but for me I take a break from everything.  If not I'll lose my mind.  As a matter of fact let me just throw it out there that I have lost my mind on several occasions.

You know I am a 24 hour a day wife and mom, which I'm sure you are too.  So, for me taking one day or one afternoon to myself is a must.  But, once break time is over you better believe I'm ready to jump back into it all.

Men Don't Want to Hear You Need a Break
As selfish as that sounds that's the truth.  Here's what you have to do instead.  Men respond better when you say
  • I need a spa day
  • I'm tired can we eat out tonight, I don't feel like cooking dinner
  • Do you mind if I go hang with the girls for a while, it will only be for a couple of hours
  • I like working outside of the house it makes me feel good
So, instead of telling your husband you need Break Time, tell them what you really need.  For me, the words Break Time from Hubby, was a code word I came up with, because I feel like my body sends a signal to my mind reminding me that I am starting to feel overwhelm.  There is something that has stimulated in my body that feels neglected.  This piece of me that feels neglected or maybe even missing is very vital to me in order for me to be a great mom and a loving wife.

Mind, Body, Spirit
So, whatever I have neglected whether it be eating, losing sleep, pain from slaying on my feet all day, or missing a workout class for the week my body, mind, and spirit wants it back.

I'm sure you have noticed something different about yourself in the past too.  With you, it may have been some things in your life that just didn't feel right.  Maybe you had a headache that wouldn't go away and you were trying to figure out where it came it from.

Everyone is different.  But realize if you don't listen to the warning signals, your symptoms will continue to get worse.  Symptoms like moodiness, being cranky, feeling neglected, unappreciated, weary, emotional, selfish, and harsh with yourself and others will only continue to increase.  You could even be put in the hospital or prescribe medicine, because of the stress from life.  And I don't just say that, but I have found that out the hard way.

So, tell your husband what you need and be exact.  Nobody has time for all those negative things.  We all want happiness in life, but you have to be intentional and go for it on purpose.  Getting a break from hubby could mean being away for a couple of hours.  It doesn't mean you take a break for a week, I mean unless you need it.

One Way to Avoid Needing a Break Time from Hubby
Is to make time for yourself daily.  This is hard  wives, but it's something we must try to do.

  • Start your Mornings Early
    • Usually, I am the last one to go to sleep in our home, but I am also the first one to get up.  An early morning means waking up at 4:30.  I'm not waking up every morning at that time.  Maybe about four times out of the week.  
      • So What do I do?
        • Chores!  I like to clean the kitchen and wash clothes.  These things actually contribute to my happiness for the day.  Plus, the later I wait in the day, the harder these things are to do.
          • Find Your Morning Happiness
            • The word of God says Joy comes in the morning.  It's amazing how there are no interruptions, everything is peaceful (it's like the calm before the storm), you can mediate, and have breakfast all by yourself.  
  • Find some time during the week to devote to yourself
    • For me everyday is not a good day.  Some days, are really easy and some are really hard.  So, what I do to try to keep myself balance is, devote time to myself everyday.  On Monday's I dance, Tuesdays I workout, my work load for Wednesdays tends to be very light, Thursday's I can literally take off of work, and Friday's are really tough work days.  However, I have given myself so much time to rest up between Wednesday and Thursday, so when Friday's roll around it's all good.  

  • Find a Hobby
    • As I mention I have weekly routines and things that make me happy, but I also have hobbies that help me follow my goals.  
      • A hobby should be something you can get lost in for hours of the day.
      • It's something that most people around you don't really participate in, because it doesn't interest them.  
      • A hobby should be something you love to do.

Now wives, know this...Men do not take this break thing very well.  They feel abandon, left alone, and like you are ready to get rid of them.  But, listen the key to this is to explain first to your husband what you need.  The way how he responds will be your next move.  My husband usually tells me to do what pleases me.  Which I know he really doesn't mean that, but I try not to read any deeper than what his facial expression is saying and what is really coming out of his mouth.

Doing all of this does not mean I do not love my husband.  I love him very much, but I am a waste to him if I am feeling low and if I am stressed out all the time.  There is nothing I can do for him with me feeling this way.  I'm sure some of you wives will agree that we get into one of our moods during a certain time of the month, but most of the time it is cause by wear and tear on us.  We're mentally and physically drained sometimes.

Break time from hubby is really break time from everything that is going on around us.  I do not believe God intended for our lives to be as busy as they are sometimes, but I also know He will never put more on us than we can bear.

So,  I know all the information I gave you may seem a little crazy, but I also know you want to be the best wife possible.  Men take their break time from us all the time.  They do it without it really being said.  You know they may run to the grocery store, there's Sunday football, they may take the long route home, stop by a friend's house after work, work on car stuff, or if you're husband is like my husband work is their break time from us.

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