But here's the thing...Marriage is so funny. Remember how before you got with your husband you wanted someone to date. Now that you're married with kids, bills, and responsibility you're looking for date time for yourself.
In other words, I think I can admit for most of us wives, that we want to be lonely again.
Probably not super lonely, but you know the kind of loneliness that allows you to sleep in, walk around in your PJ's, having to not worry about fixing breakfast for the little troops in your house, and don't forget about that ruthless laundry.
That just took me to dreamy lane. Those were the good ole days. I didn't know it then, but I feel that way now. I'm not saying we don't enjoy what we have, because my family is everything to me. But, every so often I need that date with myself.
I remember before my husband and I got together how I just wanted someone to hold me and wrap me up in their arms. That's all I could think about. Now, that I have that I'm like hey backup babe, don't get to close...I'm having a major mood swing. There are even times now, that I feel like I have to fight him off of me, because he just wants to cuddle, hug, and be all mushy. I'm like where were you when I was feeling the same way about two days ago.
The same holds true for my children. I have one on my leg who is my shadow and the older one loves me one minute, but dislikes me the next. It's crazy!!! They drive me crazy!!!
I've mention before to you wives to learn how to date yourself. Which is really just getting your alone time to regroup. It's time you start taking care of yourself now. Don't keep putting this off. You know we tell ourselves we'll start when our kids get older or even when they get grown. Noooo, bad mistake! Start now. Right now!
Here's a few things you can do today:
1. Buy a car (Your mouth probably drop, but trust me I have thought about this several times)
2. Get your hair done (Let someone cater to you)
3. Add some style to your wardrobe (a nail polish, new shoes, and a sexy pair of jeans will do)
4. Go the movies alone (I promise this is so fun by yourself)
5. Explore your hobby (I love to write, create crafts, and share things on social media)
6. Go shopping in another city close to you. (My next city is about 45-60 minutes away)
7. Exercise (Good stress reliever, boosts your energy, and it makes you feel good)
8. Take a day off from work. Don't tell anybody. Enjoy it at home while everyone is gone.
9. Lay around in your pajamas (Some may enjoy a little less clothing, lol)
10. Go buy something you have been wanting for a long time ( I love new electronics)
11. Scream, release, cry (Yes, I do this a lot. It helps me to just get it out)
12. Indulge in your favorite food (Usually it's some type of dessert)
13. Last but not least...Simply don't do anything. Ignore the calls and texts for a couple of hours.
My thing is how is your husband going to keep his eyes only on you if you let yourself go? I'm not saying he is out there looking for the next best thing, but we have to keep our husband wanting more. Several years ago, after my first son, I gain a whole lot of weight. Eventually, my husband told me he was starting not to feel as attractive to me as he had. In my mind I was crying like a little girl...I was hurt. On the outside I took what he said and I started getting my fancy back.
He was right about one thing, I was not the same girl he had met when we first start dating. Mommy hood had definitely taken over. So, I took his advice and the first thing I change was my hair color. Isn't that always the first thing we do wives is change our hair, lol.
As time progress on I started making other changes, with my diet, clothing, and I started hanging out with friends again so that I could get back in the groove of things. And yes my husband loved the change, because he is still here. Throughout the years I have learned to upgrade myself. I keep up with some of the latest trends with fashion, lingo, and just trying to stay hip. It's a job, but he is worth it.
It's actually kind of funny, because here we are about 8 years later and I'm telling him the same thing. I'm like babe, it's time for you to update your wardrobe and the way how you take care of yourself. You know we've been together going on 14 years. That's a long time. So, we have to both change things up to keep the other person engage.
When I told him, he needed some upgrades, he didn't get upset. He made the adjustments and I love him for that.
If you are unhappy about the things you are producing in your home, change them up for a better you.
My children know when I need a date with myself or just some alone time. By taking time for myself I am producing a better me for them. You don't have to feel you are neglecting your family. Remember, marriage is sometimes 50/50 and nothing else. Your husband knows how to survive without you and he will. Even if that means he picks up the responsibility for a day or two.